To: Dean Finnie, Dean of the Classic Cinema College
From LzCutter, Dean of the School of Film Preservation and Film Restoration
Re: Prof. Heston
I have a feeling that you have not heard about the latest controversy concerning Prof. Charlton Heston and Agricultural Landscape Professor Robert Ito. As you know, each year Heston insists upon blazing a different path for his annual Ben-Hur Charity/Chariot Race. If it wasn't for Charity, I suspect we would have shut it down years ago.
Well, we may want to give that some thought this year. Not since Prof. Richard Boone went on a kidnapping spree a few years back have we had such havoc.
Prof. Heston outlined his Charity/Chariot Race to go through the Japanese Gardens this year. Well, you can imagine how well that went over. Professor Emeritus Sessue Hawakaya went into a very bad case of the vapors when he heard of Heston's plans to bulldoze the Tranquility Gardens for his race path this year.
Klondike's repeated efforts to keep the peace have fallen on deaf ears. Or should I say, one deaf ego. You know how headstrong Heston can be when he gets a plan into his head. He absolutely refuses to listen to other routes or other ideas. We have even had Prof. Emeritus Ramon Navarro talk to him to no avail.
The Architectural Landscapers, headed by Prof. Ito, are refusing to let Heston have his way (and I have to say, I agree with them). They are now talking (loudly) about approaching Professors T0shiro Mifune and Yul Brynner about protecting the Tranquility Gardens.
This could lead to a very serious stand-off. I have been in touch with Sue-Sue Applegate over in Communications and, of course, the Spartacus Invitational and Ben-Hur Charity/Chariot Race are extremely popular with the alumni. All the hotels and MrsL's B&B are booked solid for the weekend (likely fueled by Heston's bragging of a resurrection on Easter Sunday).
Any ideas how we keep the peace between the Architectural Landscape Department and our preening Prof. Heston? Because, I have to tell you, the idea of Mifune gathering Seven Samuri or Brynner gathering his version of a Magnificent Seven to deal with Heston does sound tempting but will probably polarize the alumni and take the focus off the planned events for the upcoming Holiday weekend and could impact alumni donations.
Which would cause Sheldrake to go apoplectic.
Lynn in Sherman Oaks
"Film is history. With every foot of film lost, we lose a link to our culture, to the world around us, to each other and to ourselves."
"For me, John Wayne has only become more impressive over time." Marty Scorsese
Avatar-Bob's Big Boy-Toluca Lake, designed in 1948 by Wayne McAllister, still in business.