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Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: March 27th, 2017, 7:54 am
by knitwit45
Just read the warnings for Cyclone Debbie...Be Safe, Fossy!!!!

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: March 27th, 2017, 4:39 pm
by Fossy
Thank you for your thoughts. TC Debbie has moved south and is expected to cross the coast at Bowen, which is about 450 km south of here. Debbie is expected to cross the coast between noon and 1.00pm.We still expect strong winds here and there will certainly be rain. The Eye is about 60km wide, with the storm 1000km wide, so Cairns will be on the edge of it.

To put in perspective when cyclone Yasi hit a few years ago It crossed the coast about 200km south of here it destroyed the garden, one of the fences disappeared, and panels from a shed from 2 doors down landed at the back door.

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: April 5th, 2017, 10:17 am
by knitwit45
Did you have much damage? Hope all is well.

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: April 6th, 2017, 6:30 pm
by Fossy
TC Debbie missed Cairns. The forecast wind and rain did not eventuate.

Debbie crossed the coast near Bowen, (about 480km south of here) wiped out the crops there and moved south. Destruction was quite extensive, with flooding well into New South Wales. A couple of towns recorded 14 inches in a half hour, with one town recording 31 inches overnight.

Rockhampton, on the tropic of Capricorn and about 1000 km south of here, missed the storm , but extensive rain fell inland from there. It was not until a week later the Fitzroy river “drowned the town”. The flood peaked yesterday and is expected to start subsiding today. It is expected to, take up to three weeks before the flood subsides completely.

Meanwhile the highway north of Brisbane is cut in a few places. After leaving Australia the former TC Debbie crossed the Tasman and caused flooding in New Zealand, some 2000km away.

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: April 6th, 2017, 9:14 pm
by knitwit45
So sorry to hear about the damage and flooding, but relieved to hear you are damp but not soaked.

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: May 7th, 2017, 7:49 pm
by Fossy
Calvin--(from the front door) Mumm! Hey Mum!

Mum--Calvin! Stop yelling across the house~ If you want to talk to me walk over to the living room, where I am!

walk, walk walk

Calvin--Mum I stepped in dog shxx, where`s the hose?

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: May 17th, 2017, 3:51 am
by Fossy
I was playing golf with a friend, but there was a problem. Our eyesight was so bad that after hitting the ball we did not know where it went. I told my friend that next week I would bring my dad. He is 85, but his eyesight is as sharp as ever.

So next week we hit off.

"Did you see where that went Dad"?

Of course I did said Dad.

Well, where did it go?

I forget!

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: July 31st, 2017, 7:03 am
by Masha
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
(Only a fraction of people will find this funny.)

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: August 28th, 2017, 2:43 pm
by Masha
A police officer investigating a domestic disturbance runs back to his squad car and calls the station.

Officer: A woman just shot her husband for walking on the floor she just mopped.

Dispatch: Did you arrest her?

Officer: No. She is on the other side of the room and the floor is still wet.

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: December 7th, 2017, 2:57 pm
by Masha
A man walks up to a woman at her husband's funeral.

Man: "Do you mind if I say a word?"

Widow: "Please do."

Man: "Plethora."

Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."