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knitwit45
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Postby knitwit45 » April 29th, 2008, 11:26 am

well, ok, I didn't want to appear any dumber than people think I already am...

melwalton
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Postby melwalton » April 29th, 2008, 11:46 am

Nancy
Loved your bon mots. .... mel

change is the only constant.

People who live in glass houses, SHOULDN'T.

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movieman1957
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Postby movieman1957 » April 29th, 2008, 12:15 pm

knitwit45 wrote:well, ok, I didn't want to appear any dumber than people think I already am...


Gentle, good natured and witty, yes. Dumb, nah!
Chris

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana."

melwalton
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Postby melwalton » April 29th, 2008, 12:40 pm

Most of the time, it's better to keep quiet.
I usually snap out some smart alec reply which I regret for years afterward,
We're the way we are, I guess. I have a tough time keeping my mouth shut.
reminds me: We attended a wedding a while back, Friend of mine whose granddaughter was the bride sat in the back with my wife and me.. His wife was down front and motioned for him to come sit with her. He didn't see her, I did so I told him. 'Your wife wants you'. Without looking at her, he replied,' I've never seen that woman with her mouth shut'. I turned purple to keep from laughing. We were in a church. ..... mel

Change is the only constant

Hollis
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Postby Hollis » April 30th, 2008, 6:21 pm

Good evening all,

Mel, I agree that change is the only constant, but to be fair, all of those adages seem to have a flip side, don't they? In this case, "The more things change, the more they remain the same. There is nothing new under the sun." (Which unless I'm mistaken, is attributable to Ecclesiastes somewhere in the Old Testament between Proverbs and The Book of Job?) If "Many hands make light work," why do "Too many cooks spoil the broth?" Do "Still waters run deep?" or are they still? I know there are plenty more but right now I have to turn my attention to the "once upon a time" and still "The Broad Street Bullies" also known as the Philadelphia Flyers as they attempt to go up 3 games to 1 against the number one seed "Les Habitants" aka the Montreal Canadiens and pursue their dream of a third Stanley Cup! Let's go FLYERS!

Have a great evening, and as always,

Hollis

p.s. Sure that wasn't my ex in that church? Know how they say "If you can't say something nice about someone...?" well, not only would she say it, but she'd give you an itemized list of their shortcomings!

melwalton
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adages

Postby melwalton » April 30th, 2008, 8:01 pm

Hi Hollis.
I may have one without a flip side:
PLATITUDES DON"T WIN BALL GAMES. Good luck with your Flyers. .... mel



PLATITUDES DON"T WIN BALL GAMES

melwalton
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adages

Postby melwalton » April 30th, 2008, 8:17 pm

HI, Hollis.
I guess there are hundreds of contradi ctory adages. Maybe a few hundred just about time.
Good luck with your Flyers. Is that hockey? I follow only NFL football, No other sports, I was a nut about baseball a long time ago. ,.... mek


PLATITUDES DON'T WIN BALLGAMES

Hollis
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Postby Hollis » April 30th, 2008, 8:43 pm

Good evening Mel,

Yes, it is NHL hockey, and at its' best at this time of year I might add. I go all the way back to '67 with them when they were an expansion team in their very first year of play. My dad and I had season tickets and kept them all the way until his passing in '89 when I took over and introduced my son to the game at the ripe old age of 3! But I'm also a diehard Eagles fan dating to about 1958 or '59 when I was 6 or 7. I bleed either orange or green depending on the season. All I can say is thank heaven for the internet, without which it would be difficult at best to follow the home town teams. Here in Alabama all anyone seems to care about is either Alabama or Auburn. You can't find anything of value in the local paper or on the radio unless a New Orleans team makes it to the post season, at which time they become a bunch of band wagon hangers on. I'm sure you know the type. Which NFL team is it that you call yours? Just don't say Dallas, the Giants or the Redskins and you'll be ok in my book! Just kidding to be sure. Speak with you again soon.

As always,

Hollis

p.s. The FLYERS win, doubling up the Canadiens, 4-2! Not bad for the 6th seed playing against the division champs and the #1 seed!

melwalton
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Joined: October 14th, 2007, 5:58 pm

FAN

Postby melwalton » April 30th, 2008, 9:53 pm

hOLLIS
SorrY, buddy. I"ve been a Giant fan since the late twenties.
MID 20S for baseball although I lost interest in the latter a while back.
And wasn't this a great year for football? I was raised in NYC.
I don't remember a lot about the early days, I was pretty young but I do recall the championship game with Chicago in 33 or 34, it was played on an icy field , the bears led by 2 tds at thr half. then the Giants switched to tennis shoes ( they were called sneakers in those days ) and scored 5 tds in the second half whils the Bears were sliding all over the field.
In those days, college football was much more popular than pro..
I don't recall ever seeing a Giant game before TV but I saw the Eagles sometime after the war when Thompson was their QB, at Forbes Field in Pittsburgh. I think they had Van Buren at that time. .... mel

Platitudes don't win ball games

Hollis
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Postby Hollis » May 1st, 2008, 8:55 am

Good morning Mel,

That's quite all right, nobody's perfect! Just kidding, I respect that you've stuck with a team for the long haul, through good times and bad. As an Eagles fan, I'm well acquainted with both sides of the coin! Until the last dozen years or so, I was more than familiar with the losing side! I go as far back as Norm Van Brocklin at QB, after they'd traded Sonny Jurgensen to the Redskins. How's that for a smart move? Then I lived through Roman Gabriel, Jack Concannon, Mike Boryla and others I can't remember. I vaguely remember (but have seen it on film) Chuck Bednarek putting a massive hit on Frank Gifford and then sitting on him to preserve the win over the Giants in the 1960 title game. Back then we were playing at Franklin Field at the University of Pennsylvania. The Iggles didn't actually have a home they could call their own! I'm guessing you guys were playing at The Polo Grounds? The Giants and Bears (at Soldier Field) were two of only a handful of teams that had their own stadiums. Am I correct? I only hope I stick around long enough to follow the Birds for as long as you've followed the Giants. Have a great day sir!

As always,

Hollis

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ChiO
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Postby ChiO » May 1st, 2008, 9:00 am

I do recall the championship game with Chicago in 33 or 34, it was played on an icy field , the bears led by 2 tds at thr half. then the Giants switched to tennis shoes ( they were called sneakers in those days ) and scored 5 tds in the second half whils the Bears were sliding all over the field.


December 1934. Polo Grounds. The Bears led 10-3 at halftime. Giants switch to sneakers and win 30-13, avenging their championship loss to the Bears in 1933.

I missed that one, but I do remember the 1963 championship game. Poor Y.A. Tittle. :wink:

It's much easier to keep track of our Chicago Cubs' championships. :oops:
Everyday people...that's what's wrong with the world. -- Morgan Morgan
I love movies. But don't get me wrong. I hate Hollywood. -- Orson Welles
Movies can only go forward in spite of the motion picture industry. -- Orson Welles

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knitwit45
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Puns For Intellectuals (?)

Postby knitwit45 » May 1st, 2008, 9:08 am

Puns For Intellectuals

1. A vulture boarded a plane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess stopped him and said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."

2. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for
experimental purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world.

3. Two boll weevils grew up in S. Carolina. One took off to Hollywood
and became a rich star. The other stayed in Carolina and never
amounted to much--and naturally became known as the lesser of two weevils.

4. 2 Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which
sank the craft, proving the old adage you can't have your kayak and heat it
too.

5. A 3-legged dog walks into an old west saloon, slides up to the bar
and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to the dentist and
refused to take Novocaine? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the
lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess
tournaments. The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour,
and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an
open foyer.

8. A woman has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an
Egyptian family and is named "Ahmal" The other is sent to a Spanish
family and is named "Juan". Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a
picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes
she also had a picture of Ahmal. He replies, "They're twins for Pete's
sake!! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!!"

9. A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry
payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their
business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his business
was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the Friars, so he
asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused.
So the florist then hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest thug in
town.
He went to the Friars' shop, beat them up, destroyed their flowers,
trashed their shop, and said that if they didn't close, he'd be back.
Well, totally terrified, the Friars closed up shop and hid in their
rooms. This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist
friars.

10. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life,
which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from
very bad breath. This made him.... what? (This is so bad it's good...)
--a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

11. And finally, ...there was a man who sent 10 puns to some friends
in hopes at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately,
no pun in ten did!

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MissGoddess
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Postby MissGoddess » May 1st, 2008, 9:13 am

Oh Knitwit those were so good!! Ha!

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movieman1957
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Postby movieman1957 » May 1st, 2008, 9:15 am

Nancy:

I assume that you love a good pun. The bigger the groan the better the pun.

Did you ever listen to a BBC produced radio quiz show called "My Word?" I only ever heard it on PBS radio locally. At the end of the show the two main "contestants" would tell an elaborate story on how some famous quotation came to be and have it end up in some elaborate pun. They were wonderful, imaginative and funny.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Word!

Here's a link that gives some of the great ending lines down the page.
Chris

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana."

jdb1

Postby jdb1 » May 1st, 2008, 9:30 am

These puns are great - I love puns. I remember that this sort of joke was very au courant when I was a little girl, and I didn't get them all. However, I remember a few - here's one:

One morning in 1953, two employees of the People's Supreme Soviet Weather Bureau were preparing the day's forecast. Olga thought the radar information indicated snow, but Rudolph insisted that it would rain that day. When Olga asked him how he could be so very sure, he answered "It's obvious to me and, after all, Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."


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