Sailor walks into a bar . . .
- MissGoddess
- Posts: 5072
- Joined: April 17th, 2007, 10:01 am
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Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
HA!!!!
"There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education."
-- Will Rogers
-- Will Rogers
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
But it appears that Hu's on third (given his stance and the contour of the grass). If Hu's on third, Watt's on first?
Everyday people...that's what's wrong with the world. -- Morgan Morgan
I love movies. But don't get me wrong. I hate Hollywood. -- Orson Welles
Movies can only go forward in spite of the motion picture industry. -- Orson Welles
I love movies. But don't get me wrong. I hate Hollywood. -- Orson Welles
Movies can only go forward in spite of the motion picture industry. -- Orson Welles
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
From a FB friend...
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
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"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
- Rita Hayworth
- Posts: 10068
- Joined: February 6th, 2011, 4:01 pm
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
Thanks for sharing this Knitty, I always loved a good laugh from anybody ... We all can use a good humor now and then!
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making tattooed hairy biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!
But enough about me, how's your day going?"
***************************
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
Science Fact
If you took all the veins and all the arteries from your body and laid them end to end you would die.
If you took all the veins and all the arteries from your body and laid them end to end you would die.
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
I was in the lift, and when a lady with an ample bosom walked in, I could not help staring.
She said please press 1.
So I did.
When I came to she was gone.
She said please press 1.
So I did.
When I came to she was gone.
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
He—Hello, What`s your name?
She--!@#$%^&*
He—That`s an unusual name, you don`t hear that very often!
She—Actually I hear it every day!
She--!@#$%^&*
He—That`s an unusual name, you don`t hear that very often!
She—Actually I hear it every day!
- moira finnie
- Administrator
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- Location: Earth
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Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
Oh, that was rich. Thanks, Fossy and Masha for your contributions. You made me laugh pretty hard with each of your jests.
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish.
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "but I am not allowed to grant that particular wish."
"Fine," I said, "Then I want to die when England wins the World Cup."
"You crafty xxxxxx!" said the fairy.
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "but I am not allowed to grant that particular wish."
"Fine," I said, "Then I want to die when England wins the World Cup."
"You crafty xxxxxx!" said the fairy.
Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .
A man walked in to the pet shop and asked for ten bees.
The assistant put the bees in a jar.
The man paid for them, and turned to leave. He counted the bees and realised that a mistake had been made.
He returned to the assistant and told her that there were eleven bees in the jar.
Yes, said the shop assistant, one is a freebie.
The assistant put the bees in a jar.
The man paid for them, and turned to leave. He counted the bees and realised that a mistake had been made.
He returned to the assistant and told her that there were eleven bees in the jar.
Yes, said the shop assistant, one is a freebie.