Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice (1969)

[Sepiatone]

What you just described IS a double standard.

Nope. Huge difference.

You don't see the difference so you don't agree.

Good enough.

The only difference is that it's not the husband receiving someone else's sperm. That both the husband and wife are both involved in an infidelity makes it an equal betrayal. Neither one is worse than the other.

Sepiatone

[speedracer5]

I was on a Dyan Cannon kick a couple of years ago, seeing all her movies previously missed. I couldn't believe B&C&T&A was in my library, I remember the scandalous buzz about it when it came out. (I was a kid)

Viewing it as an adult was pleasantly surprised. I found it funny & entertaining, excellent performances all the way around.

I thought that Bob, Carol, Ted, and Alice was a great movie. I watched it as an adult. I'd never heard of it when I was younger. It doesn't seem to be a film that is played often, except on TCM. The premise probably wouldn't have appealed to me as a child and having seen it as an adult, I don't imagine that this would hold a child's attention. Anyway, I thought it was such a compelling film, especially in context of the 1960s sexual revolution. While I didn't live during the 60s, so I don't have firsthand knowledge, it seems that this was also the time that people were more philosophical and things like spiritual and emotional retreats were becoming more commonplace. I liked the idea that Bob and Carol loved the idea of swinging and having an open marriage, but when it comes down to doing the deed with their friends, it's maybe not what they wanted and would be awkward. After the film, I imagine that Bob and Carol might be seeking out some marriage counseling or something, because I think they realized that they don't really want each other hooking up with other people. I would also have to imagine that a decent amount of time will pass before Bob and Carol will see Ted and Alice again.

[jamesjazzguitar]

What you just described IS a double standard.

Nope. Huge difference.

You don't see the difference so you don't agree.

Good enough.

The only difference is that it's not the husband receiving someone else's sperm. That both the husband and wife are both involved in an infidelity makes it an equal betrayal. Neither one is worse than the other.

Sepiatone

There can be other differences based on each person's own perspective. E.g., some men believe men were not born to be monogamist and therefor men cannot cheat by definition but feel the opposite when it comes to women. I can see why you call this a double-standard, but others just view it as a different POV.

[LostHorizons]

Nope. Huge difference.

You don't see the difference so you don't agree.

Good enough.

The only difference is that it's not the husband receiving someone else's sperm. That both the husband and wife are both involved in an infidelity makes it an equal betrayal. Neither one is worse than the other.

Sepiatone

There can be other differences based on each person's own perspective. E.g., some men believe men were not born to be monogamist and therefor men cannot cheat by definition but feel the opposite when it comes to women. I can see why you call this a double-standard, but others just view it as a different POV.

If that is your opinion it is fine but then you shouldn’t enter the institution of marriage if you disagree with it. If you think men were born to cheat then you shouldn’t agree to marry a woman for your whole life. That weakens the idea of marriage and makes the entire idea meaningless. I also if cheating is okay “in this specific scenario” then that opens up dissenters to say “okay, women can do it too.” If you don’t like marriage it is your imperative to not get married.

[Dargo]

If that is your opinion it is fine but then you shouldn’t enter the institution of marriage if you disagree with it. If you think men were born to cheat then you shouldn’t agree to marry a woman for your whole life. That weakens the idea of marriage and makes the entire idea meaningless. I also if cheating is okay “in this specific scenario” then that opens up dissenters to say “okay, women can do it too.” If you don’t like marriage it is your imperative to not get married.

"YEAH?! So then tell me here, Smartypants! How am I ever gonna get any GRANDKIDS ?!!!"

(...sorry, couldn't resist)

[jamesjazzguitar]

The only difference is that it's not the husband receiving someone else's sperm. That both the husband and wife are both involved in an infidelity makes it an equal betrayal. Neither one is worse than the other.

Sepiatone

There can be other differences based on each person's own perspective. E.g., some men believe men were not born to be monogamist and therefor men cannot cheat by definition but feel the opposite when it comes to women. I can see why you call this a double-standard, but others just view it as a different POV.

If that is your opinion it is fine but then you shouldn’t enter the institution of marriage if you disagree with it. If you think men were born to cheat then you shouldn’t agree to marry a woman for your whole life. That weakens the idea of marriage and makes the entire idea meaningless. I also if cheating is okay “in this specific scenario” then that opens up dissenters to say “okay, women can do it too.” If you don’t like marriage it is your imperative to not get married.

I agree with what you say here. Note that I wasn't giving my opinion on monogamy and marriage, but only what I find to be too common of a view in certain cultures.

[Intrepid37]

What you just described IS a double standard.

Nope. Huge difference.

You don't see the difference so you don't agree.

Good enough.

The only difference is that it's not the husband receiving someone else's sperm. That both the husband and wife are both involved in an infidelity makes it an equal betrayal. Neither one is worse than the other.

Sepiatone

Men do not control sex. Women control it completely.

Any hetero consensual sex that takes place takes place because of the woman. She decides. Always.

[Sepiatone]

Men do not control sex. Women control it completely.

Any hetero consensual sex that takes place takes place because of the woman. She decides. Always.

I'd say you need to move up into the 21st century, but really, it appears you need to come into the 20th century first. You're just thinking in terms of when the man tries to initiate a sexual union. But there are times when the women try to initiate it and it requires the man's "consent" for the union to take place. And what you're referring to has not ONE THING to do in the case of a husband and a wife being simultaneously adulterous.

And yes, I know the old joke about women being in a high position of power because they control half the money, and ALL the "kootchie".

Sepiatone

[Intrepid37]

Such nonsense from you.

Wise up.

[Sepiatone]

Back atcha.

Sepiatone

[Detective Jim McLeod]

Quote from the Elliott Gould character-
"You know there's a double standard operating here and I'm not going to play that game. I am not going to do anything I don't want my wife to do."

[LostHorizons]

Men do not control sex. Women control it completely.

Any hetero consensual sex that takes place takes place because of the woman. She decides. Always.

I'd say you need to move up into the 21st century, but really, it appears you need to come into the 20th century first.

[Dargo]

This last thought up there reminds me of a recent new addition in my group of tennis players.

Ya see, I've finally today came to the conclusion that no matter how OR how many times I tell Rick to "READ THE FREAKIN' BALL EARLIER AND AS IT COMES OFF THE OTHER GUYS RACQUET, LEARN A FREAKIN' BACKHAND AND SO STOP TRYING TO RUN AROUND EVERY FREAKIN' SHOT IN ORDER TO ONLY HIT A FOREHAND, AND MOVE YOUR FREAKIN' FEET", the SOB refuses to listen and so is NEVER gonna do ANY of it, and so I might as well just save my freakin' BREATH!!!

(...yep, poor ol' Rick...what a damn hardhead...say, maybe I should suggest Pickle Ball to the guy?...ya don't have to move your feet that much in that game, ya know!)

LOL

[CinemaInternational]

I saw it several years ago. Cannon and Gould are excellent, but the premise unnerved me a bit, and the near orgy ending was one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever seen.

[speedracer5]

I saw it several years ago. Cannon and Gould are excellent, but the premise unnerved me a bit, and the near orgy ending was one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever seen.

The ending was incredibly awkward. Ted and Alice weren't really into it, but went as far as to get undressed with Bob and Carol. I think Bob and Carol reconsidered being swingers when they actually watched their partners kissing someone else. I have to think that this almost orgy caused irreparable harm to the two couples' friendship. The awkwardness would be difficult to overcome.