TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

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Dargo
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by Dargo »

EP Millstone wrote: December 10th, 2022, 1:47 pm
Dargo wrote: December 10th, 2022, 1:32 pm
speedracer5 wrote: December 9th, 2022, 9:42 pm ...and CAPS for emphasis might make a comeback.
Whaddaya MEAN by "a comeback" here, speedy???

;)
Seems laffite isn't the only one who should make the switch to decaf. 🥸
Strange. Ya see LH, I didn't understand your "decaf" comment here at first as I only posted that joking reference to my ongoing texting tendencies to capitalize certain words in sentences in order to imply the use of verbal inflection about an hour ago, and yet I've now noticed that it posted three times for some reason.

Guess I'm still learning the ropes around here.

(...btw...yesterday, laffite offered up to me how one can totally delete their post around here, however I still can not seem to find the button he mentioned...can you tell me where it's at?)
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Dargo
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by Dargo »

Okay, now THIS is gettin' even weirder now!

Ya see, I NOW see the "X" delete box up there between the "edit" box and the "report" box to the left of my avatar in my previous posting up there, and yet this is not to found on any of my previous posting in this thead or for that matter any other thread that I've ever posted at this website.

(...so what gives here???)
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EP Millstone
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by EP Millstone »

Dargo,

Alas, you cannot delete a post that you create IF someone replies to or quotes your post.

If you post a topic and want to delete -- and no one has quoted or replied to it -- you will see an X (Delete post) button in the menu of message tools, along with the Edit post, Report this post, and Reply with quote buttons.

You can ask a system administrator to delete your post.

How do I edit or delete a post?
"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with." -- W.C. Fields
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Dargo
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by Dargo »

EP Millstone wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:58 pm Dargo,

Alas, you cannot delete a post that you create IF someone replies to or quotes your post.

If you post a topic and want to delete -- and no one has quoted or replied to it -- you will see an X button in the menu of message tools, along with the Edit post, Report this post, and Reply with quote tools.

You can ask a system administrator to delete your post.

How do I edit or delete a post?
Aaaah! So THAT'S it! THAT'S how it works around here, eh EPM?!

(...thanks for the help, ol' buddy)
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EP Millstone
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by EP Millstone »

Masha wrote: December 9th, 2022, 2:53 pm My little Fuzzy has opined that he would comply by throwing a ball for her and then running as fast as he can in the opposite direction. It seems that enticing women with their own agenda strikes terror in him. I wonder why.
As well he should!

It's a slippery and perilous slope from "Play with me" to this type of action:

Image Image

Image Image

Image
"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with." -- W.C. Fields
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Masha
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by Masha »

EP Millstone wrote: December 10th, 2022, 3:24 pm
Masha wrote: December 9th, 2022, 2:53 pm My little Fuzzy has opined that he would comply by throwing a ball for her and then running as fast as he can in the opposite direction. It seems that enticing women with their own agenda strikes terror in him. I wonder why.
As well he should!

It's a slippery and perilous slope from "Play with me" to this type of action:

[...]
He was 'mostly raised by two older sisters' and he has three ex-wives and he survived daughter's teenage years and so there are subtle hints of behavior which make him feel as if he should watch his back and others which make him want to move house.

It is rather nice in some ways because it means he is incapable of thinking that women are inferior.

The woman in the picture holding that sign would surely trigger his: "flee at all costs" instinct.
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by speedracer5 »

CinemaInternational wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:59 am
LostHorizons wrote: December 10th, 2022, 12:31 am
EP Millstone wrote: December 9th, 2022, 10:23 pm

Here's the story on The TCM Message Boards. . . . or in the modern vernacular, here's the tea.
To Cinemainternational if you see this, what is the film that reminded you of being manipulated? Were you abused? I can’t imagine reacting this way to any film. I’m sure there is more to it but the “therapy” line from the leader of the site seems like a genuine suggestion and not an insult, in this case.
It was Call Me by Your Name, and it was because of an even earlier horrible time in the internet. I was part of a website as a teen, and I thought all had been going swimmingly, until I had an issue with one member who I realize now was obviously a narcissist. So, I was hurt, because it was the first time I had ever had anyone attack me. And I had obviously made it clear how at loose ends I was. And that was one other person moved in for the kill. I thought he had been a friend, he kept saying what a favorite of his I was. I was naive, took at at face value, but then he started coming at me saying in private discussions of all of his lurid sexual fantasies, with me in the center of them. I was so depressed and so desperate not to lose another friend that I submitted to this endless cyber seduction for several months, even though it unnerved me. I was 17 at the time. He was considerably older; he used my vulnerability to get what he wanted, to abuse me. And then the one I had issues with originally found out about it, and revealed it publicly, to use as a battering ram against me. It was bad, and it made me feel unclean.
Wow. I'm sorry that that happened to you. I'm also sorry for making you discuss it again. People who say rude and nasty things to other people online, because they feel empowered by their sense of anonymity are just cowards--cowards hiding behind an avatar. Depending on how vicious the bullying was, there could be very serious legal repercussions and criminal charges. People are not as anonymous as they think they are. People can be identified and located very easily.
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by speedracer5 »

HoldenIsHere wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:29 pm
CinemaInternational wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:59 am
LostHorizons wrote: December 10th, 2022, 12:31 am

To Cinemainternational if you see this, what is the film that reminded you of being manipulated? Were you abused? I can’t imagine reacting this way to any film. I’m sure there is more to it but the “therapy” line from the leader of the site seems like a genuine suggestion and not an insult, in this case.
It was Call Me by Your Name, and it was because of an even earlier horrible time in the internet. I was part of a website as a teen, and I thought all had been going swimmingly, until I had an issue with one member who I realize now was obviously a narcissist. So, I was hurt, because it was the first time I had ever had anyone attack me. And I had obviously made it clear how at loose ends I was. And that was one other person moved in for the kill. I thought he had been a friend, he kept saying what a favorite of his I was. I was naive, took at at face value, but then he started coming at me saying in private discussions of all of his lurid sexual fantasies, with me in the center of them. I was so depressed and so desperate not to lose another friend that I submitted to this endless cyber seduction for several months, even though it unnerved me. I was 17 at the time. He was considerably older; he used my vulnerability to get what he wanted, to abuse me. And then the one I had issues with originally found out about it, and revealed it publicly, to use as a battering ram against me. It was bad, and it made me feel unclean.
This reminds me of some of my experiences on the AIM chat rooms as a kid in the 1990s. The chat rooms were a lot of fun and a way to connect with others with shared interests, but there were some people who took advantage of the anonymity of "words on a screen" to cyber stalk and "over-share" (to put it mildly).
I had a situation where I blocked someone, but then the creep created a new screen name and messaged me: "Why did you block me?"
Ah AIM. Or any chat room really. I used to play games in the Yahoo! Games rooms. All of the rooms had chat rooms. If my opponent immediately started off with A/S/L, I would immediately leave the room. In my experience, even as a 12-13 year old during the mid-90s and during the infancy of internet chat rooms, at least 90% of the time only creepers started conversations with A/S/L? I just want to play Canasta. Lol.

I used to have an AIM screenname (MiniMe622, I created it right after seeing Austin Powers 2 in the theater) and I also had an ICQ account, when that was the hot thing for like 5 minutes. I was also part of an I Love Lucy email-based newsgroup where I would receive my daily digest email of the days' posts. I mostly hung out in the GeoCities world, because I maintained an I Love Lucy website at 3028 TelevisionCity. Lol.
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by LostHorizons »

Masha wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:26 pm
LostHorizons wrote: December 10th, 2022, 10:42 am
It’s funny you say that actually because one of my resolutions for the new board was to not gossip as much but then I saw how obnoxious everyone else found Mr. McDonald (he doesn’t deserve the name Topbilled as he was never billed in any movies) and I just had to vent.
Venting is tension release of anger created by past events. Gossip is actively pursuing new material to form the basis of new complaints.

You vented. You did not gossip.
That is a very kind way to put it. Thank you. I do/ did (?) not want said individual to feel (Jarrod) like he is unfairly targeted for things outside his control but when going to a board it is a good idea that everyone should try to get along and not annoy each other whether unintentional or not. Major social skills classes could have helped the guy and I do not mean that in a bad way. Some people are simply like that in life.
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by LostHorizons »

EP Millstone wrote: December 10th, 2022, 3:24 pm
Masha wrote: December 9th, 2022, 2:53 pm My little Fuzzy has opined that he would comply by throwing a ball for her and then running as fast as he can in the opposite direction. It seems that enticing women with their own agenda strikes terror in him. I wonder why.
As well he should!

It's a slippery and perilous slope from "Play with me" to this type of action:

Image Image

Image Image

Image
To be fair to Mr. Rusty Godowski, he was tricked into getting into that position because Myra said she needed to check a mole or his reflexes or something. I forget the exact thing.
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by LostHorizons »

HoldenIsHere wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:29 pm
CinemaInternational wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:59 am
LostHorizons wrote: December 10th, 2022, 12:31 am

To Cinemainternational if you see this, what is the film that reminded you of being manipulated? Were you abused? I can’t imagine reacting this way to any film. I’m sure there is more to it but the “therapy” line from the leader of the site seems like a genuine suggestion and not an insult, in this case.
It was Call Me by Your Name, and it was because of an even earlier horrible time in the internet. I was part of a website as a teen, and I thought all had been going swimmingly, until I had an issue with one member who I realize now was obviously a narcissist. So, I was hurt, because it was the first time I had ever had anyone attack me. And I had obviously made it clear how at loose ends I was. And that was one other person moved in for the kill. I thought he had been a friend, he kept saying what a favorite of his I was. I was naive, took at at face value, but then he started coming at me saying in private discussions of all of his lurid sexual fantasies, with me in the center of them. I was so depressed and so desperate not to lose another friend that I submitted to this endless cyber seduction for several months, even though it unnerved me. I was 17 at the time. He was considerably older; he used my vulnerability to get what he wanted, to abuse me. And then the one I had issues with originally found out about it, and revealed it publicly, to use as a battering ram against me. It was bad, and it made me feel unclean.
This reminds me of some of my experiences on the AIM chat rooms as a kid in the 1990s. The chat rooms were a lot of fun and a way to connect with others with shared interests, but there were some people who took advantage of the anonymity of "words on a screen" to cyber stalk and "over-share" (to put it mildly).
I had a situation where I blocked someone, but then the creep created a new screen name and messaged me: "Why did you block me?"
That is actually a great point. A lot of social interactions nowadays are supposed to be done online (online dating for instance is ubiquitous now even though it was a joke only 10 years ago. Remember the incessant Christian mingle ads on TV?) Well anyways, one should refrain from posting too much personal info or photos because of how lascivious some creeps can be. I don’t need the mental image of some perverts doing things from the confines of their basements. You get the drift.
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by Masha »

LostHorizons wrote: December 11th, 2022, 1:28 am A lot of social interactions nowadays are supposed to be done online (online dating for instance is ubiquitous now even though it was a joke only 10 years ago.
The old rules were: 1) Do not get into a car with a stranger. 2) Do not agree to meet in real life any person from a dating site.

It is common now for people to call an: Uber to take them to their: Tinder date.

We old fogies must muddle through the changes.
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by CinemaInternational »

speedracer5 wrote: December 10th, 2022, 5:24 pm
CinemaInternational wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:59 am
LostHorizons wrote: December 10th, 2022, 12:31 am

To Cinemainternational if you see this, what is the film that reminded you of being manipulated? Were you abused? I can’t imagine reacting this way to any film. I’m sure there is more to it but the “therapy” line from the leader of the site seems like a genuine suggestion and not an insult, in this case.
It was Call Me by Your Name, and it was because of an even earlier horrible time in the internet. I was part of a website as a teen, and I thought all had been going swimmingly, until I had an issue with one member who I realize now was obviously a narcissist. So, I was hurt, because it was the first time I had ever had anyone attack me. And I had obviously made it clear how at loose ends I was. And that was one other person moved in for the kill. I thought he had been a friend, he kept saying what a favorite of his I was. I was naive, took at at face value, but then he started coming at me saying in private discussions of all of his lurid sexual fantasies, with me in the center of them. I was so depressed and so desperate not to lose another friend that I submitted to this endless cyber seduction for several months, even though it unnerved me. I was 17 at the time. He was considerably older; he used my vulnerability to get what he wanted, to abuse me. And then the one I had issues with originally found out about it, and revealed it publicly, to use as a battering ram against me. It was bad, and it made me feel unclean.
Wow. I'm sorry that that happened to you. I'm also sorry for making you discuss it again. People who say rude and nasty things to other people online, because they feel empowered by their sense of anonymity are just cowards--cowards hiding behind an avatar. Depending on how vicious the bullying was, there could be very serious legal repercussions and criminal charges. People are not as anonymous as they think they are. People can be identified and located very easily.
It's OK, don't feel bad about hearing about both of my online horror stories (the via the link to the old TCM boards, the one here). It was bound to come out eventually. As for suing the perpetrators, I know the first name of the guy who took advantage of my 17-year-old naivete and forced his kinky fantasies on me, and the state he was from, but not the exact town or the last name. So, with years under the bridge, and with that site being defunct, the trail would be cold. The person, the narcissist, who found out and made it public, I know all about him, he was very open with his own details. I fought like an alley cat against him, though I am pretty ashamed now of that behavior. He had seemingly hurt several others too. And they were just as mad at him for the most part. The narcissist ended up barreling out right around the same time I fled. The site folded a little over a year later. It was for the best.

As painful as the second incident ( the one featured on the old boards that EP provided a link to) was with the two year ban, it probably didn't leave behind quite as much damage, but it was still extremely painful, especially at the time. I was still tramatized from the first incident, and was trying so hard not to have history repeat itself. It ended up not being an exact repeat, but a close enough facsimile, minus sexual abuse. Maybe it was my frantic quality there that led to it. Well, that plus my desire not to have any part of Hereditary and Call Me by Your Name. But even before that, there had been a few people who had kept putting me in the center of jokes (kept mocking me every few days), and I had provided ammunition by blabbing the horrifying ending of a film a few weeks before its release (2017's mother!, an apocalyptic biblical allegory which featured a scene where a cult was shown dismembering and eating the flesh of a dead baby. Amazingly, it was a major studio offering, with Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris [as Adam], Michelle Pfeiffer [as Eve], Domhnall Gleeson [as Cain], and as the head of the baby-eaters Kirstin Wiig. I referred to the film by a term that cannot be repeated here.) They took secrets so seriously, and regarded my blabbing that monsterous finale as a crime, and it probably led to me becoming a laughing stock. The sick film was one of their favorite films of 2017, placing in their top 20 in a poll at year's end. and my preference for older films put me at odds in a film group obsessed with current films [even 90s films were considered old there] But it was the Hereditary incident a year later on December 9, 2018 that was what got me knocked out. My anger at being tossed was likely amplified by doing all those labor-intensive polls for that leader who stabbed me in the back, every single week for months.


Since this whole fiasco with these people in the second incident played out over two different sites (it was a group from the old IMDb that filed to two different places when those boards closed), I guess I should reveal that the larger part went down on Facebook. So, of course, names are out there in the open, so they knew my name and what I looked like, and I knew theirs. The guy who was the leader was an English ex-pat who now lives in LA. He viewed himself as a movie expert, but he almost entirely focused on new films, with the older films he had seen largely being Criterion or Oscar bait. He always caimed I watched too many "obscurities". Tellingly, he was barely involved in the group by the time the ban on me was lifted. He now works as a crew member at Letterboxd. Here is a link to his profile on Letterboxd so you can scope him out if you wish: https://letterboxd.com/jack/. Suffice it to say, he doesn't like to talk to me, and when I did get back, I found out he had trashed me publicly on Facebook, and several were dragging me. I never "defriended" him on Facebook, because I wanted to make sure he wouldn't go after me again.

Still, the two incidents left their mark. In a way, they did a good thing. I was pretty cocky when I was younger, and they helped to disarm that. They probably are the reason why I am more mild-mannered and down to earth today It might be humility learned by the school of hard knicks, but it was for the best. My religion tells me to forgive my enemies, and I still struggle with that a bit, though I still try to do better. Talking about these incidents does not hurt as much as it used to, maybe because I realize that the people here are like family, and I can count on you all. You are kind people and its not an act on your part, and your wisdom and warmth helped me when I needed it the most.
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by Marysara1 »

:(
CinemaInternational wrote: December 11th, 2022, 2:25 am
speedracer5 wrote: December 10th, 2022, 5:24 pm
CinemaInternational wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:59 am

It was Call Me by Your Name, and it was because of an even earlier horrible time in the internet. I was part of a website as a teen, and I thought all had been going swimmingly, until I had an issue with one member who I realize now was obviously a narcissist. So, I was hurt, because it was the first time I had ever had anyone attack me. And I had obviously made it clear how at loose ends I was. And that was one other person moved in for the kill. I thought he had been a friend, he kept saying what a favorite of his I was. I was naive, took at at face value, but then he started coming at me saying in private discussions of all of his lurid sexual fantasies, with me in the center of them. I was so depressed and so desperate not to lose another friend that I submitted to this endless cyber seduction for several months, even though it unnerved me. I was 17 at the time. He was considerably older; he used my vulnerability to get what he wanted, to abuse me. And then the one I had issues with originally found out about it, and revealed it publicly, to use as a battering ram against me. It was bad, and it made me feel unclean.
Wow. I'm sorry that that happened to you. I'm also sorry for making you discuss it again. People who say rude and nasty things to other people online, because they feel empowered by their sense of anonymity are just cowards--cowards hiding behind an avatar. Depending on how vicious the bullying was, there could be very serious legal repercussions and criminal charges. People are not as anonymous as they think they are. People can be identified and located very easily.
It's OK, don't feel bad about hearing about both of my online horror stories (the via the link to the old TCM boards, the one here). It was bound to come out eventually. As for suing the perpetrators, I know the first name of the guy who took advantage of my 17-year-old naivete and forced his kinky fantasies on me, and the state he was from, but not the exact town or the last name. So, with years under the bridge, and with that site being defunct, the trail would be cold. The person, the narcissist, who found out and made it public, I know all about him, he was very open with his own details. I fought like an alley cat against him, though I am pretty ashamed now of that behavior. He had seemingly hurt several others too. And they were just as mad at him for the most part. The narcissist ended up barreling out right around the same time I fled. The site folded a little over a year later. It was for the best.

As painful as the second incident ( the one featured on the old boards that EP provided a link to) was with the two year ban, it probably didn't leave behind quite as much damage, but it was still extremely painful, especially at the time. I was still tramatized from the first incident, and was trying so hard not to have history repeat itself. It ended up not being an exact repeat, but a close enough facsimile, minus sexual abuse. Maybe it was my frantic quality there that led to it. Well, that plus my desire not to have any part of Hereditary and Call Me by Your Name. But even before that, there had been a few people who had kept putting me in the center of jokes (kept mocking me every few days), and I had provided ammunition by blabbing the horrifying ending of a film a few weeks before its release (2017's mother!, an apocalyptic biblical allegory which featured a scene where a cult was shown dismembering and eating the flesh of a dead baby. Amazingly, it was a major studio offering, with Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris [as Adam], Michelle Pfeiffer [as Eve], Domhnall Gleeson [as Cain], and as the head of the baby-eaters Kirstin Wiig. I referred to the film by a term that cannot be repeated here.) They took secrets so seriously, and regarded my blabbing that monsterous finale as a crime, and it probably led to me becoming a laughing stock. The sick film was one of their favorite films of 2017, placing in their top 20 in a poll at year's end. and my preference for older films put me at odds in a film group obsessed with current films [even 90s films were considered old there] But it was the Hereditary incident a year later on December 9, 2018 that was what got me knocked out. My anger at being tossed was likely amplified by doing all those labor-intensive polls for that leader who stabbed me in the back, every single week for months.


Since this whole fiasco with these people in the second incident played out over two different sites (it was a group from the old IMDb that filed to two different places when those boards closed), I guess I should reveal that the larger part went down on Facebook. So, of course, names are out there in the open, so they knew my name and what I looked like, and I knew theirs. The guy who was the leader was an English ex-pat who now lives in LA. He viewed himself as a movie expert, but he almost entirely focused on new films, with the older films he had seen largely being Criterion or Oscar bait. He always caimed I watched too many "obscurities". Tellingly, he was barely involved in the group by the time the ban on me was lifted. He now works as a crew member at Letterboxd. Here is a link to his profile on Letterboxd so you can scope him out if you wish: https://letterboxd.com/jack/. Suffice it to say, he doesn't like to talk to me, and when I did get back, I found out he had trashed me publicly on Facebook, and several were dragging me. I never "defriended" him on Facebook, because I wanted to make sure he wouldn't go after me again.

Still, the two incidents left their mark. In a way, they did a good thing. I was pretty cocky when I was younger, and they helped to disarm that. They probably are the reason why I am more mild-mannered and down to earth today It might be humility learned by the school of hard knicks, but it was for the best. My religion tells me to forgive my enemies, and I still struggle with that a bit, though I still try to do better. Talking about these incidents does not hurt as much as it used to, maybe because I realize that the people here are like family, and I can count on you all. You are kind people and its not an act on your part, and your wisdom and warmth helped me when I needed it the most.
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Re: TCM announces it is sunsetting the TCM Forums

Post by TikiSoo »

LawrenceA wrote: December 10th, 2022, 2:28 pm I don't think he ever had Peter O'Toole as his avatar. You may be thinking of someone else.
Obviously, you are correct, I was confused. LawrenceA you have always been a great contributor.

Lost Horizons/Sukov....I support you controlling your "gossip" & aggression here. You have had a lot of positive ideas to offer without it.
Last edited by TikiSoo on December 11th, 2022, 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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