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St. Patrick's Day Aftermath

Posted: March 18th, 2010, 12:05 am
by Lzcutter

To: Dean Finnie

From: LzCutter, head of Film Preservation and Restoration

Re: St. Patrick's Day Aftermath

Dear Moira,

Well, Faith and Begorrah be, after being on a well deserved sabbatical (had a lovely time, thank you), I came back last night to your missive about all the doin's for our annual St. Pat's celebration.

Given that we have quite the (undeserved) reputation for going overboard when it comes to celebrating almost anything, I was worried that as the day wore on and the ale kept running that we would be needin' the services of my brother, the good Judge. In fact, he hired an extra steno girl who also could handle the phone calls and by the late afternoon, he was calling me wanting to know when we were going to be putting him to work.

I was surprised by this and thought it worth investigating. Seeing that it seemed like a rather big job (it has been in the past), I called on Prof. Marvin to give me a hand.

Lee, er, Prof. Martin was surprised by the quiet nature of the campus as well. So, off we went looking for trouble (metaphorically speaking).

Our big concern was that the participants of our Eire Day celebration had taken the party into town, especially Wrestling Coach Vic McLaglen, who was said to be smarting from not being mentioned in your announcement.

A quick trip around the town square revealed that our faculty was not partying in the neighborhood pubs, gin joints or honky-tonks.

We stopped by Mrs. L's B&B to see if Peter Ustinov was throwing any sort of celebration. As we know from previous events (I'm thinking of the Spartacus Invitational and Easter celebration a few years back) but the B&B was strangely quiet and deserted.

Lee, er, Professor Marvin and I returned to campus and caught a glimpse of MoraldoRubini rushing towards Sheldrake Hall with a large package under his arm. Knowing that Moraldo is good friends with our best bartender, Kyle in Hollywood, we picked up our step and followed Rubini.

Well, we discovered the party. The good news is that it was on campus where hopefully it has remained. The bad news is that it looked like the entire faculty and staff were on hand to raise a pint or three.

Prof. Crosby kept taking off his collar (it was just a prop, did you know?) and then would tell an off-color joke, guffaw like crazy and then sing a verse of "Irish Eyes are Smiling" by the time he got to the chorus, Frankie McHugh, Alan Jenkins and most of the faculty from the Character Actor Department (why do I think the majority of them used to work for the Brothers Warner?) would join him in the chorus.

Luckily, Chef Dressler and Zeamus Sakall were in the kitchen cooking up recipes from their recent best-sellers. You and I both know how out of control our faculty and staff can get if the spirits are flowing and the food is not. Well, the saints must be with us this season, Moira, because even Wresting Coach Vic was not being overly cantankerous and actually seemed to be getting along with most of the grease monkeys from the motor pool.

Professor Richard Boone even seemed to be trying to make amends for his last fiasco. He was buying rounds for Klondike, Professor Mitchum (who still seems to be nursing the pain of losing Mrs. L) and Lee even took a swig or three.

The sports team headed by Coach Johnson were holding court at the far end of the bar. They are all talking about part in this year's Spartacus Invitational, Lord help us if they do. Between Coach Wayne, Johnson, Bond, Mclaglen and Holt, I fear they will give Professor Heston a run for the roses in the accompanying Ben-Hur Charity Race. (And wouldn't it make us smile to see Prof. Heston have a little competition after his run away win last year (due to injuries to the sports staff) and his accompanying bragging.).

The good news, Dean, is that it is now just past the bewitching hour and the party is still going but no one is over the top or too in their cups. There is no throwing of furniture, Coach Holt or a couple of the Brothers Marx. There seems to be no sense that the party will get out of control and over take the town (saints be praised!) and if all we have are a number of faculty with hang-overs in the morning but no bruises or bandages from fisticuffs, I suspect we will be okay.

But, I guess I shouldn't forget that the Spartacus Invitational is in less than two weeks and Prof. Heston will soon begin laying out the chariot race track in the next few days.

So, this could easily be the quiet before the storm.

I hope you are enjoying it as much as I am.

Gotta go run, Lee, er, Prof. Martin has brought me another drink and Vic is now singing an Irish ballad, egged on by the Sports staff. Prof. Wayne is giving him a hard time but it is a lot of fun.

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw you a little earlier in the evening sitting with Prof. Grant who seemed to be telling you the funniest stories because you certainly seemed to be enjoying laughing till you cried.

One last thing, I will remind MoraldoRubini that we need the list of films for the Spring Break festivities.

And I promise, no The Oscar this year!


Dean Cutter

Re: St. Patrick's Day Aftermath

Posted: March 18th, 2010, 8:49 am
by movieman1957
I assume there were no arrests?

Re: St. Patrick's Day Aftermath

Posted: March 18th, 2010, 9:10 am
by klondike
Owwwwwwwwwww - my head . . . . !
. . . And why am I wearing Bob Armstrong's pants ?!!!
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

Re: St. Patrick's Day Aftermath

Posted: March 18th, 2010, 10:12 am
by movieman1957
At least you have pants!!

Re: St. Patrick's Day Aftermath

Posted: March 18th, 2010, 10:32 am
by Lzcutter
From: LzCutter, Dean of Film Preservation and Restoration

To: Klondike

Re; Clothing mystery


If it's any consolation, Bob Armstrong is wondering why he is wearing Chef Marjorie Main's bloomers. He hopes you might be able to shed some light on that?

Re: St. Patrick's Day Aftermath

Posted: March 18th, 2010, 11:44 am
by klondike
Cc: Frankie Jenks, Robert Armstrong, Frank Faylen, Huntz Hall, Guinn "Big Boy" Williams, Solomon "Shemp" Howard.

From William Hopper, Security Chief, Classic Cinema College

By 3:oo pm today, I will expect to see Professor Klondike's kilt brought down from where it is currently attached, i.e. flapping in the breeze from the 2nd-storey flagpole on southwest corner of the Agricultural Science building.
As a ladder extended from the shade-side roof of the Campus Professional Garage is the only simple way of accessing that particular location, I have some entrenched theories of how this substitution was made; especially given the discovery of Pr. Donlevy passed-out on the quad this a.m. wearing only a red, white & blue, star-spangled diaper, and one of Ms. Bainter's best Sunday hats.
Gentleman, should you leave this chore to me or one of my staff, I will follow it up with fingerprinting everyone in the Motor Pool, and consequences will ensue!

Sincerely, WH