Sailor walks into a bar . . .

[Fossy]

Comments made in the year 1955!

‘I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are,it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $10.00.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long before $1, 000.00 will only buy a used one.’
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit; 20 cents a pack is ridiculous. ‘
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
‘Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter.’
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
‘If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.’
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

‘When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving
the car in the garage.’
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying
DAMN in ‘GONE WITH THE WIND’. It seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.’
.________________________________________________________________________________________
‘I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas .’
________________________________________________________________________________________
‘Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday
they’ll be making more than the President. ‘
________________________________________________________________________________________
‘I never thought I’d see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now. ‘
________________________________________________________________________________________
‘It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. ‘‘It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘I’m afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘Thank goodness I won’t live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government.’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘No one can afford to be sick anymore. At $15.00 a day in the hospital, it’s too rich for my blood.’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘If they think I’ll pay 30 cents for a hair cut, forget it.’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[klondike]

And overheard by my Dad at the barbershop back in '55 (and often repeated later as a cherished anecdote):

"I don't trust Ike's VP . . just hope when he gets re-elected, he picks somebody new - sends that Nixon fella back to California, get him the h*ll out of the White House!"

[CharlieT]

A clairvoyant friend of mine is having trouble with her ESP. Seems she added an N and now the only visions she has are highlights of tomorrow's games.

[mongoII]

[knitwit45]

And I LOVE hot baths.....

amen, Joe!!!

[Rita Hayworth]

MongoII ... Loved it.

[Fossy]

Confucius Say:
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run in
front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind
car get exhausted.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with one
chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who eat many
prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

War does not
determine who is right, war determine who is
left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put
husband in doghouse may soon find him in cathouse.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who drive like
hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who live in
glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Fossy]

Good one Mongo

[klondike]

Confucius also, purportedly, reminds us that elevators smell different to midgets . . .

[Fossy]

Confucius also, purportedly, reminds us that elevators smell different to midgets . . .

Obviously you have the list. I deleted some that I thought were in bad taste. Perhaps I am a bit square.

[klondike]

There's a list . . . . ?

(Honestly, after hearing the formula, off & on, for over fifty years, the elevator one was all I could remember!)

[knitwit45]

This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one
carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why the heck did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

[knitwit45]

Skinny Dipping

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five- gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Some old men can still think fast.

[klondike]

The wife asks him, "Why the heck did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

Makes perfect sense to me . . . reckons things are more complicated out in Kansas.

[knitwit45]

or the men are denser???