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Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: April 3rd, 2014, 11:09 am
by MissGoddess
HA!!!!

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: April 3rd, 2014, 12:11 pm
by ChiO
But it appears that Hu's on third (given his stance and the contour of the grass). If Hu's on third, Watt's on first?

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: April 11th, 2014, 10:11 pm
by knitwit45
image.jpg
image.jpg (67.57 KiB) Viewed 9608 times
From a FB friend...

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: April 17th, 2014, 12:54 pm
by knitwit45

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: April 17th, 2014, 4:45 pm
by Rita Hayworth
Thanks for sharing this Knitty, I always loved a good laugh from anybody ... We all can use a good humor now and then! :)

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: April 28th, 2014, 10:36 pm
by CineMaven
Image

There I was sitting at  the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making tattooed hairy biker  steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha'  gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I  burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the  biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t  stand to see a man crying."

"This is the  worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete  failure.  I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't  have any insurance.  I left my wallet in  the cab I took home.  I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

"So  I came to this bar to work up the courage to put  an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a  capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole  thing!  

But enough about me, how's your day going?"

***************************

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: May 12th, 2014, 5:19 am
by Fossy
Science Fact

If you took all the veins and all the arteries from your body and laid them end to end you would die.

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: May 13th, 2014, 4:03 am
by Fossy
I was in the lift, and when a lady with an ample bosom walked in, I could not help staring.

She said please press 1.

So I did.

When I came to she was gone.

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: June 17th, 2014, 8:58 pm
by Fossy
He—Hello, What`s your name?
[email protected]#$%^&*
He—That`s an unusual name, you don`t hear that very often!
She—Actually I hear it every day!

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: June 19th, 2014, 11:30 pm
by CineMaven
LOL!!! :lol:

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: June 21st, 2014, 9:30 am
by moira finnie
Oh, that was rich. Thanks, Fossy and Masha for your contributions. You made me laugh pretty hard with each of your jests.

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: August 2nd, 2014, 5:52 pm
by Fossy
I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish.

"I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry," said the fairy, "but I am not allowed to grant that particular wish."





"Fine," I said, "Then I want to die when England wins the World Cup."

"You crafty xxxxxx!" said the fairy.

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Posted: August 5th, 2014, 3:39 am
by Fossy
A man walked in to the pet shop and asked for ten bees.

The assistant put the bees in a jar.

The man paid for them, and turned to leave. He counted the bees and realised that a mistake had been made.

He returned to the assistant and told her that there were eleven bees in the jar.

Yes, said the shop assistant, one is a freebie.