THE CRAZY MOTHER THREAD

[Bronxgirl48]

Welcome to you all!

FEAITO, Mom called to tell me about FOR PETE'S SAKE. She unfortunately wasn't crazy about it, saying that Barbra "spoke too fast";
Michael Sarrazin's hair "made him look like a werewolf"; Molly Picon was
"shorter than I remembered"; and the only time she laughed was when Streisand posed as a hooker. Her final thoughts: "I wouldn't see it again, but FUNNY GIRL, I could see forever." The Momster has spoken, LOL.

ARK -- How wonderful you are here! Mom is looking forward to MARNIE tonight; I don't think she's ever seen it. When I told her Sean Connery is in it, she goes: "He didn't play James Bond anymore?" I just ignored her.

WENDY -- Ha!! I only WISH I had Edgar's slow burn. Usually I just shoot my mouth off to her and say something inappropriate, and then regret it later. However, I'm taking lessons on how to deal with difficult people from Bette Davis (or should I say, Claude Rains) in NOW, VOYAGER.

ELLIOT -- Oh, my, it's great to see you! I sometimes think I'm in my own noir movie when I'm with my mother. It's that helpless feeling of dread and anxiety I experience whenever she opens her mouth...

JUDITH -- How are you? I don't believe we've met before, thanks for dropping by! About your mom and "4:15 p.m." -- my mother is obsessed with time, and she's very precise about it. Last weekend she called to tell me she was coming over at 12 noon. She arrived at 12:03 and apologized for being late.

MOIRA -- Hi! I'll bet Barbra's Katie from THE WAY WE WERE would have read Veblen. She thinks Streisand's hair looks "messy" in that movie. I told her that Robert Redford didn't seem to care. Fill us in on your mom's grammar-ethic-social behavior corrections!

CHRIS -- Lovely you arrived! Oh that's so funny with THAT WORD!! I would have liked to see that scenario with your father, ha! One time my mother told me she couldn't sleep so she randomly put on HBO and was greeted with "G-String Divas". She actually found it fascinating. "How do they get their bodies around those POLES??"

BIRDY -- Nice to meet you! Hope you won't be "far, far away" on those Banks. My mom is just a wee bit hard of hearing and probably will need a hearing aid down the road. She's in her own denial about all this. So your mother never admits to being wrong?

[feaito]

FEAITO, Mom called to tell me about FOR PETE'S SAKE. She unfortunately wasn't crazy about it, saying that Barbra "spoke too fast";
Michael Sarrazin's hair "made him look like a werewolf"; Molly Picon was
"shorter than I remembered"; and the only time she laughed was when Streisand posed as a hooker. Her final thoughts: "I wouldn't see it again, but FUNNY GIRL, I could see forever." The Momster has spoken, LOL.

Priceless Looking forward to more chats with Mum.

[Bronxgirl48]

Feaito, I can't wait to hear what she's going to say about MARNIE tonight. Probably something like, "What? She doesn't want to be married to Sean Connery and live in that beautiful house?"

[feaito]

[mrsl]

When talking about outlandish types with fingernails and other attention seeking devices, I prefer the kind that Dolly Parton exhibits, especially when she says "It takes a lot of work to look like this", and that IS a direct quote from the lady's mouth. In fact, Dolly generally defames herself long before anyone else has a chance to and I love her for it. I've never seen anyone else either in the entertainment world or in person who has more vigor and loves life to such an extreme. As for mothers, everyone says my Mom was a sweet, wonderful, loving woman, but I never got to really know her. I married as soon as I could, to get away from my domineering Italian father at 17 so my chances to share quality time was limited, plus she always took my sisters side during arguments, so although I loved her, I never felt that 'lost part of me' when she passed away. My daughter of course was another story. But I do love hearing these tales of other people - it helps me to feel less like a non-family member.

Anne

[Bronxgirl48]

Anne, welcome to our family.

[Birdy]

Oh, how could she admit she's wrong when she never is?

Conversation tonight, she said, "Why do you keep telling me I said things I never said?" God forbid we add dementia to the deafness.

I said, "I clearly saw you standing there with the boots in your hand and you said you were going to put the boots where he could find them when he needed them." Say, which one of us is crazy?
(Seriously, our family has been under some serious stress lately and we've all been a little nutty."

[Hollis]

Hey there Bronxgirl,

How about those Phillies? Beat the Yankees in their own house ! I laughed good and loud at your conversation with mom. It sounds an awful lot like my mom and dad talking. He was a Methodist from South Dakota and she was a Jewish girl from Philadelphia. They met at a USO dance at Ft Dix, New Jersey in 1943 and married six weeks later, only two weeks before he headed to England as part of the D-Day invasion force. They always reminded me of Dean Martin (my dad) and Jerry Lewis (my mom) with dad being the perfect straight man for her .It seems that I inherited her great ability to overlook the obvious ! Ask me what time it is and I'll build you a watch ! Thanks for the memories, whoops, that belonged to Bob Hope !

Seeya,

Hollis

[JackFavell]

Looks like we might have to start a crazy dad thread....

My mom was really cool. She had her moments, but don't we all? My dad, on the other hand, was/is a control freak with the brain of an Einstein and little or no social skills. In his mind, family are the people you make fun of most....

However,he also gave me my love of old movies.

He recently gave my daughter a life mask of Tor Johnson he won at an auction...... now how's that for crazy?

[movieman1957]

Anne:

A lady in my church is Dolly Parton's cousin so every now and then we get updates. You are right about her humor in that she picks on herself some.

Birdy:

My wife has a similar problem to your mother's. One day I was watching a movie and my bride was in the kitchen when I heard her say "mayonnaise shoes?" I asked what she was talking about. She said it was something she heard on the movies. I told her they said "man issues." Well, now we say "mayonnaise shoes" instead of "what." It takes longer but it is more fun.

[Bronxgirl48]

Sorry about the stress your family is under, Birdy. If you feel the need to vent, please do it here.

I used to have a lot of frustration with Mom because she'll say something about the past which further inflames our many "issues" that still fester, and when I call her on the statement a while later, she'll go "But I never said that". Even worse: "Why are you putting words in my mouth?"

But in keeping with Bette Davis's transformative "handling" of her mother Gladys Cooper (although mine is certainly not like her)
in NOW VOYAGER, whenever Mom brings up some unpleasant subject from my childhood, I just say dispassionately, "Oh, I didn't know that." I adopt an ironic, unemotional, black humorish attitude that keeps me from losing my temper with her.

[Bronxgirl48]

Hey, Hollis!

You sound like you know your sports. (I don't know a Yankee from a Dodger) Are you sympathetic with Eddie giving his fiancee the football quiz in DINER, lol?

So your mom is Jerry Lewis? HA!

Your parents sound like the play "Abie's Irish Rose", but in reverse.

[Bronxgirl48]

Wendy -- a life mask of Tor Johnson?

I want to meet your father!

[Bronxgirl48]

feaito, Mom's review of MARNIE:

"Well, I thought Tippi Hedren was okay, but in some scenes she was a little weak. I can't tell you which they were, because I've forgotten already. Didn't Robert Osborne say that Grace Kelly was being considered for the role? I think she would have been much better.
Sean Connery, what's not to like? He's always believable in any part he plays, he's very handsome, a good actor, and he looks like a movie star. I didn't understand why the cleaning lady didn't hear when Marnie's shoe dropped on the floor. And who was the girl who played the sister-in-law? I liked her because she was devious."

[Birdy]

That's hilarious 'I've forgotten already!\'!
B

Today - The boots were found but she swore she had never touched them.
B