Wow, I had no idea that the public would be voting on it! I was thinking of entering but now that I see all the creative energy going into the presentation of the spots, I would be way outclassed! It would take me forever to get it to look like I wanted it to, and all I could come up with in less than a month is probably holding up a picture of Gary Cooper (already not allowed) and saying how cute he is.
But seriously, my own voting criteria will be that this person loves classic movies, is pleasant to look at and listen to and expresses him/herself well. It would be rather nice if it was someone who was a little on the youngish side, if only to drive home that lots of us who didn't necessarily grow up with these classics are crazy about them and want to encourage more to give them a chance.
I do like the idea of shooting the spot in black and white.
If anyone here is entering, I wish you all the best and hope you'll let us know it's you!!
How about a takeoff on the "What a Character" spot that TCM runs from time to time? It might just present some interesting possibilities. With your sense of creativity, I'm sure you could do a lot with it.
I think I have lots of fantastically fabulous ideas for TCM programming. The thing is, I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be on television.
My daughter, the TV production major, is trying to cajole me into appearing in a video for her featuring the alter ego I sometimes lapse into when the muse is upon me, but so far I've held firm. I've told her I'll write it, but she'll have to play the part. Not too much of a stretch for her, as we resemble each other so much.
Am I one of the few Americans left who doesn't feel she must appear on TV at least once before she shuffles off?
Moraldo Rubini wrote:A Vertigo piece would be swell, wouldn't it? I could go to the grave of Carlotta Valdez, buy a nosegay at Podesta Baldacchi, gaze at Ms. Valdez' portrait and then race up the stairs of the campanile only to find Robert Osborne (dressed as a nun) at the precipice!
Thank Goodness you didn't think of jumping into the Bay. I am not a very good swimmer.
Here's my script for my "fantasy" submission for the TCM Guest Programmer Contest. It is titled "The Bartender" for an all-too-appropriate reason.
(With a tip of the hat and heart-felt thanks to all the Classic Cinema College contributors from whom I took much inspiration.)
THE BARTENDER
Setting - Interior. A Contemporary Bar. In the background, shelves of liquor bottles, wine bottles and glassware. Also a framed photograph of a woman in a "Gay Nineties"-style costume. We see a an near-empty cocktail glass on the bar top.
Camera View - POV of a guest sitting on a bar stool facing the bar / bartender.
The Bartender walks into the frame and faces the camera/"guest".
The Bartender speaks -
How is everything here? Can I bring you anything else yet? No? Okay.
(slight pause)
So there is a bet going on at the other end of the bar. I've got three fellows arguing about what is the most commonly run distance in American Sports. And it's getting kinda heated over there. "It's the mile.""No! It's the 100 yard dash." They still haven't figured it out. I'll let them argue over it a bit longer before I tell them. Do you happen to know what the answer is? Because I do.
(pause)
How do I know? Actually, it is something I learned from watching an old movie. It is part of a scene that takes place in a bar, of all places, so I guess that is why it has stuck in my brain.
(pause)
What else have I learned from the movies? Well, let's see...
Professionally, there's the importance of rhythm to cocktail shaking. (Bartender picks up a cocktail shaker and demonstrates) Now, a manhattan you shake to foxtrot time. A bronx to two-step time and for the martini, you always shake to waltz time. Of course no one has ordered a bronx cocktail in years so my two-step is getting a bit rusty. It's more like the merengue time I use for margaritas.
But then again... there are differing opinions about whether it is good to shake a martini at all. Mrs. Mame Dennis Pickett Burnside swears shaking the martini bruises her gin so, just for her, I stir. And that is OK. She's definitely not a waltz time gal. if you get my drift. And she tips better than the tuxedo-wearing Englishman who always asks for his martinis to be shaken and not stirred.
(The bartender looks up and his head/eyes move from left to right as if following the sight of a person passing behind the camera. The following is spoken as if addressing this person passing behind the "guest")
Hello Mr. Thornhill. Welcome back! Did you have a nice trip?
(Back to addressing the "Guest"/camera.)
That's Roger Thornhill, The big Madison Avenue advertising executive. He just got back from Rapid City, South Dakota. And he brought back with him a very attractive blonde. She's quite the looker. (pause) What's she look like? I'd say she's a prettier version of Tippi Hendren or Janet Leigh. Yowsah! I think I should take a trip to South Dakota! But something strange happened while he was away. He told me he has sworn of bourbon from now on but he wouldn't say why. I am curious to learn what that is all about. I think I'll ask his mother next time I see her. She's easily coerced to doing something she shouldn't.
(Pause as if listening)
Oh, you like the picture back here. (Pause again.) Honestly, I don't know who it is? It is just a picture of a turn of the century woman I dug up to display for a regular patron of mine. Let's see. (Bartender picks up the picture.) There's a caption here. What does it say? Picture of Miss Esther Smith taken at the "Louisiana Purchase Exposition" in St Louis, 1903. But to one of my regulars whose eyesight is going, as far as he is concerned it is a picture of Lily Langtree. He refuses to drink here if there isn't a picture of Lily Langtree on the back of the bar. (Returns the picture to the back of the bar.) But I fear he is entering his dottage. He keeps asking for "Rub Of The Brush", whatever that is. I just give him some rye whiskey. He never knows the difference.
(Bartender looks back down the bar toward the other patrons still discussing the "question")
No. It isn't the quarter-mile as in horse racing.
(Back to addressuing the "Guest"/camera.)
It's truly amazing how much one can learn from a classic movie. I've certainly learned a whole lot. Such as -
- "Being rich is like being ten-feet tall. It is good for somethings and not so good for others."
And while "It's no trick to make a lot of money if all you want is to make a lot of money.", even more importantly - "No man is poor who has friends"
Did you know that one's appreciation of Classical music can be started simply by watching cartoons and that Richard Wagner's "Ring Cycle" of operas can be successfully condensed down to a compact seven minutes? It certainly can, Brunhilde and all!
I've learned that an unarmed man of principle can be braver than a mob or vigilantes, more persuasive than eleven angry men or more resolute than 95 Senators.
And that a person's arched eyebrow can speak volumes without them saying a single word.
(Almost wistfully.)
I've learned that sometimes an unrequited love may be the start of a beautiful friendship.
But, perhaps the most useful thing of all that I have learned from a classic film - "Nobody's Perfect".
(Heard spoken by an off-stage voice/ or soundclip)
"Sacha! French 75's! A whole row of them - starting here and ending here."
(Looking over to the right.)
I'll be right there, Yvonne.
(Looking back to the "Guest"/camera)
That's Yvonne. (sigh) And it looks like I will again be delegated with taking her home tonight. But maybe this once the boss won't make me come right back? (Arches eyebrow with a sly little grin.) But I've never been able to figure out why she always calls me "Sacha".
(Camera remains stationary throughout this dialogue but now the bartender speaks over/above the view of the camera as if the "unseen guest" has risen from the barstool and is ready to leave. It is now apparent the bartender has been speaking to someone or something sitting on the barstool. Someone not necessarily the "unseen guest" of the viewer in the audience. But Who?)
Time to go? Well, thanks so much. It's been my pleasure. I hope to see you again. Oh! Before you go. Do you want to know the answer to the question the others are debating? (Bartender leans forward slightly and puts his hand aside his mouth as if to hide what he is about to say.) It's 90 feet - the distance between home plate and first base in baseball. Or between any of the bases.
So long and have a good night. Please come back soon.
(Bartender removes the empty glass from the bartop and begins to wipe the bartop with a cloth.)
I sure am glad I added that little painted notice to the window.
(Camera pans to the right and down to the floor. We see the shadow of words cast from the painted sign on the front window of the bar. The sun streaming through the window has "written" on the floor -
"Kyle's Hollywood Lounge"
And in smaller letters "written" below that we can read -
"Pookas Welcome"
Fade to black
Comments and critcism encouraged and appreciated. And are any of the film references too esoteric?
kjk
Last edited by Kyle In Hollywood on May 19th, 2007, 12:27 am, edited 3 times in total.
How wonderful!!!!! That has GOT to be submitted. Make Lynn do it!
Maybe if you added one little bitty sentence of some kind to incorporate "When the legend becomes fact, print the legend", that might induce her to agree.
Your other ideas are good, but many are take-offs on things already on TCM, this one is totally original and expresses your love and knowledge of classic film, and throwing in that bit about classical music and cartoons is a deciding factor. No matter who votes, I can't see them choosing anything over it.
Kyle, you wonderful, imaginative movienut---you must submit this as a written script or as a brief video. It's brilliant and fun. Please, please enter it. Since I and everyone else could vote for it, I know that I'd love to see it played out for real on TCM and, even better, see you on camera as the guest programmer. Please, Kyle. Don't be shy. You're so dazzling in your love and knowledge of movie milieus that my eyes hurt from reading that brief script.
How wonderful!!!!! That has GOT to be submitted. Make Lynn do it!
Maybe if you added one little bitty sentence of some kind to incorporate "When the legend becomes fact, print the legend", that might induce her to agree.>>
Anne,
Rest assured, I need no arm twisting, I would do it in a heartbeat if Kyle said okay.
I think it is a great promo and should be brought to TCM's attention. I would love to see them produce this script for a channel promo as I think it would very successful.
Kudos again to Hollywood Kyle for sharing this gem with us!
Lynn in Lake Balboa
"Film is history. With every foot of film lost, we lose a link to our culture, to the world around us, to each other and to ourselves."
"For me, John Wayne has only become more impressive over time." Marty Scorsese
Very detailed and creative, Kyle, and just esoteric enough...aren't bartenders notorious for "teasing." You really should get this on video and submit it. You have a bar, right? Maybe you could persuade Lynn to helm this project. She's quite skilled at these camera pov shots and a terrific editor. And we'd all love to see your "margarita merengue!"
Don't Dream It...Be It!!
You really should get this on video and submit it.
Well, folks, you all certainly know how to make a fella feel good. I am pleased that my flight of fantasy struck a chord with a few of you. I am truly heartened and humbled to read such encouraging good thoughts.
It was a fun little thing to write - but I composed it understanding that it wasn't going to be submitted. While the chance to be Guest Programmer would be a wonderful experience, it's not in the cards, I am sorry to say. There are multiple reasons for this but, rest assured, it isn't for lack of pride in my work or lack of confidence ib being seen on TV. Suffice it to say, it is all rather complicated (And, no. It isn't because I have a criminal record, I am a wanted man or because there are embarassing pictures of me on the internet! <grin>)
My thanks to each of you for the enthusiastic praise. You make me blush.
