The whiny thread

[charliechaplinfan]

It was bad news, when they scanned me they couldn't find a heartbeat, the baby had died within me, probably a couple of weeks ago. After I found this out they kept me in hospital for a further three hours. I've never been in this situation before and I had options, I've chosen to go under general anaesthetic tomorrow so I can start to try and move on.

I can't tell anybody this but I can type it out, I find it cathartic at least to put it in words. I've yet to tell the children who are still out of the house. I'm frightened stiff by hospitals, an operation was the last thing I wanted to go through. I thought I'd just take a tablet and it would go away but it's not that simple. No I'm not frightened I'm terrified.

They have taken a picture of the baby even though it is dead, it's mine to have if I want it but I couldn't bear it and the moment. 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage, I'm not the only one but it really hurts like I've lost a real child.

I'll probably stay logged on and comment on some of the movie threads, anything to get my mind off tomorrow.

[movieman1957]

Oh, Alison. I am so sorry. What heartbreaking news. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. I have known two other people this happened to. I had a friend that lost hers at six months. You are right in that it was not so simple and she needed surgery too. It has been a few years but she came out of it well so it should be for you.

I pray for you and the family and that you are comforted.

[Ollie]

No words.

[Marta]

Alison I've already said this in my email to you, but again I'm so incredibly sorry that this has happened. My thoughts are with you and you know where I am if you need me.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping it goes as smoothly as possible for you.

*hugs*

Marta xxxxx

[jdb1]

Oh, Alison, I am so sorry to hear this. I've had two misses myself, and I know how devastating it can be, even so early on. Take care of yourself, and if you feel like crying, by all means find someplace private and quiet and let it out. We are here for you, and you are so fortunate to have such a lovely family in which to take comfort.

[charliechaplinfan]

I just knew you'd know the right things to say.

I know it's early days but straight away I thought I can't go through this again, it's the worst news I've ever received (which pales in compares to others news). I'm 38, perhaps I was pushing my luck. I know if I try again I'll feel llike the clock's ticking against me, I'm not good at handling that pressure, in time though I might feel different.

Funnily enough, it's me who has been able to tell people, Chris only had to tell his boss and he broke down, not that I haven't broke down but for me it's healing.

I was dreading telling the kids. Joe was told first, he was sad but with a bit of cunning he was brought around by the promise of a kitten. Libby wanted to know all the details, why's and wherefore's, the promise of 2 kittens will go a long way to mending her.

Judith if you've gone through to, I feel for you. I'll hold you as an example that life in time moves on and we accept lifes decisions and perhaps they make us stronger.

[moira finnie]

"Sorry" is such an inadequate word for the sadness I feel for you and your husband. Please consider this a spot to post any feelings you want to put into words about this event. You will be in my thoughts and prayers for a long time to come.

[Synnove]

Alison, words can't express how sorry I am, they are inadequate. All I can say is that I'm sorry for your loss, and for how much pain you are being put through right now, and all of your family. You really don't deserve this, nobody does. Remember that you have friends.

[charliechaplinfan]

Thank you Moira, no doubt I'll find it really cathartic to come and talk on this thread. After the procedure I realise I have 2 solid days were I won't be able to go out and Chris will be at work. I'll come here for comfort.

Thanks Synnove, there are no words, just the knowledge that I have so many good friends, that helps a lot.

[Birdy]

Dear Alison,
I can't express my sorrow for you - I've promised not to get any more moisture in the keyboard. So I will quickly say that I greive with you and will go have a good cry as soon as I log off because I really do understand. I Thank God for your two beautiful children and I will keep all of you in my prayers.

Tomorrow I am helping a dear friend move herself and her 5 children out of an abusive home while the husband is at work. Please pray for God to give us strength and wisdom and speed.

And maybe I'll rename this the tragedy thread.

B

[charliechaplinfan]

I wish you and your friend all the luck and prayers in the world. What a good friend you are Birdy.

Somebody give me strength to go back to hospital again tomorrow. I have a awful fear of hospitals.

[Birdy]

Alison,
You WILL be given the strength you need, when you need it. I just know it. I can sense cosmically from all the way over here that you can do this and it will all be well. About what time will you be leaving? I want to set my timer and think of you in that moment. I will be with a group of incredibly strong women tomorrow and we will band together in spririt for you. YA - YA

News of another tragedy just arrived - another good's friend's daughter has just been stood up 2 weeks before her wedding. They've been planning it for a year and a half. ?Or is it a tragedy? Marriage is for life and life is longer than rope.

Remember: One woman can change the world.

Birdy

[Birdy]

I'm off to get more boxes and supplies and may not be back on here again till late but please post the times you'll be leaving tomorrow, Alison. I will try to get online again at home. I know you are in great hands.

B

[silentscreen]

Dearest Alison,

God bless you, what a hard, hard experience to go through! It's so odd, but my daughter-in-law has lost two babies, and then came the blessing that she and my son have had two babies at once. Danielle's baby before the twins died within her as well, and her previous husband didn't even want to be bothered. She said he said, "How can you do this to me on Father's Day?" She decided right then to leave him. She had to go to the hospital as well, so I know it's not always a simple process. At least Chris is a loving husband and supports you.

Try not to be afraid! Know that we are all thinking of you and support you to the max!

With heartfelt sympathy,

Brenda

[klondike]

Alison, my dear "UK friend", I am so saddened to learn of this.
I will not even try to imagine what it must feel like, but I can imagine the depth & scope of loss you likely are enduring.
I discovered (per a lot of 'newelpost eavesdropping'), while yet a child myself, that although my Mum had borne four surviving children, she'd experienced 11 confirmed pregnances (& suspected more like 13 or 14).
By the time I finished high school she was on daily kidney dialysis, and the reason for all those miscarriages, and her several stillbirths, had been inadvertantly discovered: she had Rh-Negative blood, and had it not been type O, all her children would have perished. (Her years of maternity were all, of course, prior to the discovery of the Rhesus Factor, and the formulation of uterine blood-defense meds in the late 50's.)
I'm not sure that the knowledge gave her any relief, though; and I've often suspected that deep in their hearts, it might have caused both of my folks to blame themselves, all over again.
If I'm right about that, it's a feeling that they never should have felt. And at risk of sounding preachy, Dear, it's something that you must not do, either, ever, even a little bit. Who can know the exact chain of events behind a small soul's decision not to linger?
Lean on us, lean on your young family, lean upon the rock of your Faith; sunlight, and laughter, and soft evenings will be there waiting for you, just as soon as you're once again ready for them.
And do not hesitate a nanosecond if any of us here at SSO can be of any comfort to you.
These people can be the staunchest of friends, Alison; had I any doubts, they were banished forever, just last year.
Rest, heal, find the slow, quiet strength that will guide you through.
We are here for you!
Of that, I am sure.