Bronxgirl48 wrote: ↑March 23rd, 2023, 6:04 pm
. . . I have never been attracted to hairy men. I like them blonde and relatively hairless . . .
(
Ahem!) Present!
Bronxgirl48 wrote: ↑March 23rd, 2023, 6:15 pm
My favorite scene in any Woody Allen movie: From BANANAS -- Woody, joining the revolutionaries, goes into a jungle shop and proceeds to order for the hungry group as if he were at a New York deli.
Again, for me, Woody Allen's pre-
Annie Hall comedies are my favorites in his
oeuvre. I consider him the preeminent comedian and humorist of his generation. In his prime, Allen's jokes, one-liners, and wit (in literature and cinema), IMO, were nonpareil and in a singular class by themselves. Case in point from
Bananas, the dialogue of which sometimes deftly mimics the droll, fast-paced wordplay in early Marx Brothers comedies:
Fielding Mellish (
Woody Allen)
: "I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille. I used to rub the dirty parts."
Rebel Leader: "You are accused of killing over a thousand people in your term of office . . . of torturing hundreds of women and children. How do you plead?"
Diaz: "Guilty . . . with an explanation."
Rebel Leader: "In event of snake bite, you make an incision and you suck out the poison. Remember, you must
suck out the poison. What do you do?"
First Rebel Soldier: "Suck out the poison."
Second Rebel Soldier: "Suck out the poison."
Third Rebel Soldier: "Suck out the poison."
Fielding Mellish: "I will not, I cannot suck anybody's leg who I am not engaged to."
Snake Bite Lady: (running topless through the camp, clasping her breast) "Snake bite! I got bitten by a snake! I got bitten by a snake!
Help! Snake bite!
Help!"
Mellish and his fellow rebel soldiers instantly run after her, in hot pursuit.
Fielding Mellish: "I was a nervous child. I was a bed wetter. When I was younger, I . . .
uh . . . I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself."
Esposito: "You have a chance to die for freedom."
Fielding Mellish: "Yes, well, freedom is wonderful. On the other hand, if you're dead, it's a tremendous drawback to your sex life."
Prosecutor: "Your witness."
Fielding Mellish: "Officer Dowd, have you ever had sexual relations with a girl with really big breasts?"
Policeman: "Yes, Sir. I did."
Fielding Mellish: "
Mmm-hmm. And how did you find it?"
Policeman: "Very . . .
erotic."
Fielding Mellish: "I was just checking."
Fielding Mellish: "I move for a mistrial! Do you realize there's not a single homosexual on that jury?"
Judge: "Yes there is."
Fielding Mellish: "Oh, really! Which one? Is it the big guy at the end?"
Fielding Mellish: "I had a good relationship with my parents. They very rarely h . . . I think they hit me once, actually, in my whole childhood. They, they . . .
uhh . . . started beating me on the 23rd of December in 1942 and stopped beating me in the late Spring of '44."
Fielding Mellish: (
nervously speaking at a fundraiser dinner, while posing as the San Marcos president) "Although the United States is a very rich country, and San Marcos is a very poor one, there are a great many things we have to offer your country in return for aid. For instance, there . . . there are locusts. We have more locusts. There are locusts of all races and creeds. These, these locusts, incidentally, are available at popular prices. And so, by the way, are most of the women of San Marcos. Now then, despite the tiny size of our nation, few people realize that we lead the world in hernias. They also fail to realize that before Columbus discovered your country, he . . . he stopped in San Marcos and contracted a disease which today can be cured with one shot of penicillin."
Fielding Mellish: "I'm not suited to this job. Where do I come off testing products? Machines hate me. I should be working at a job that I have some kinda aptitude for, like donating sperm to an artificial insemination lab."
Roger Grimsby: "Fielding Mellish, the President of San Marcos, goes on trial tomorrow for fraud, inciting to riot, conspiracy to overthrow the government, and using the word 'thighs' in mixed company."
Fielding Mellish: "I love you, I love you."
Nancy (
Louise Lasser)
: "Oh, say it in French! Oh, please, say it in French!"
Fielding Mellish: "I don't know French."
Nancy: "Oh, please . . .
please!"
Fielding Mellish: "What about Hebrew?"