Sing O Muse, of arms and the warrior! Of flame-or-blaze-orange-haired Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat, absent from mother Earth a thousand years times five, summoned by the wise Guardians to combat the ultimate -- Am I Disturbing You? -- evil of Mr Shadow. Blown to atoms by the fire of odoriferous warrior-not-merchant assassins addicted to hopeless courses, her substance drifted by winds across the earth of an alien world, until fighting her way back from non-existence, thermal bandages strategically placed, the salt water of her tears greet the chaotic day of three-dimensional Manhattan as she leaps joyously into the void to meet her destiny. Who can recount the adventures of her stout yeoman and meat popsicle Korben Dallas, V for Valiant, lunar mother-plagued, followed by Blade Runner (1982) quotes beyond his knowing, world-saver cute-meeting his multipass-proud perfect fare, the woman who fell to earth, no points left on his license? Police gunfire, they play it hard, unconscious goddess, never without her permission.
When is Leeloo not in trouble?
Summon suave impresario Ruby Rhod of the subtle intellect, perhaps he will sing the secrets of holy Father Vito and his church gunsel David, the plans of art dealer Zorg and the sorrow of a President who would body-slam Evil if only he could. General Munro nervously adjusts his tie. Supergreen. The Diva, blue as a paradise planet ocean and sky, sings "Il dolce suono", soundtrack to murder and mayhem, audience confounding. Escaping on spacecraft stolen, best broadcast ever ending, toy keyboard tapping, human nature learning, sorrow increasing, tracks of her tears leading all the way back to Egypt, death hurtling closer. For the love of the Supreme Being: Korben, speaking to you in your native English and bad English, even without her permission, just kiss her!
We'll have what she's having. So say we all.
Available on Blu-ray. Sony's first release was notoriously poor, the subsequent remastered discs an improvement.
